tales from my gmail inbox #004: help me help you

From: Jennifer Finan
Sent: Tuesday, May 15, 2007 1:20 PM
To: XXXX
Subject: Re: The myspace mess- age

Haha oh man. Good email. I would rock it. Maybe try not to sound so apologetic, like you’re sorry about it. Because you’re not sorry. Are you? ARE YOU?? Haha, oh, of course not, so send it as gloriously as possible, flourish it! He is a whimsical character and won’t understand such harshities. Tell him he’s stuck in your mind like fly papa’. If you really believe to live in such risky & unsafe moments, might as well be a pig and roll around in the muck. “You a pig and you a pig.” I want to see the finished product.

I just fetched lunch. I got a spicy tuna roll, gummy bears and cashews, along with a hazelnut coffee from DD. I know you’re blanching at my nutty references but whatevs. You don’t know what you’re missing!!

I’ve been feeling bad about XXXX. I want to shake him into oblivion but how do I express it? I mean without scaring him…all this THINKING is doing my head in.

I don’t know what to do for the next 3 hours. I don’t have a raving lunatic in my face presently.

Arctic Monkey’s should be fun. I might go see Pretty Girls Make Graves tomorrow night with XXXX. You can come if you want to. It’s prob like 20 bucks though. I must do some laundry when I get home. Like majorly at least 2 loads, probably more like 4.

Alright I have to go look busy.

From: Jennifer Finan
Sent: Wednesday, May 16, 2007 12:18 PM
To: XXXX
Subject: Re: The myspace mess- age

How is work? It’s eerily calm here today. I feel like heads will roll come Thursday, meaning my head. I’m starving too.
I can’t go to bed on an empty heart again. I must clear up some time with XXXX tonight, wish me luck. I just saw a Latin phrase you might like. Picture it next to a skull on your desk

Memento Mori
(remember you are mortal)

Cheers

From: Jennifer Finan
Sent: Wednesday, May 16, 2007 12:53 PM
To: XXXX
Subject: Re: That latin saying is perfect

I just ate a meal fit for a Tex-Mexican princess. You guessed it right! TACOBELL. The other intern casually mentioned it and I lept at the opportunitity. GLORY to God in the highest!

I am going to prob leave work at 4, then shower, gussy up and go. This is getting absurd. It must be stopped or plunged forwards to all eternity or kingdom come.
I liked your newest email. It’s got flavor and gusto. Very keen indeed. He’ll be abitin’ sure as the sun will rise. XXXX is a fool and he needs to know it straight form the horsey’s gulliver. You tell that muthafuka.

gg ttyl

Posted on Friday, February 19th, 2010 at 1:29 pm. Filed under: blog Tags: dumb and dumbest, gmail, probably embarrassing myself, schadenfreude RSS 2.0 feed.