Gripes! Come and get it, I am ranting about everyone’s favorite sad bag rec center, Facebook. These four were all I could muster. Make that five.
1) Relationship status.
Okay. Here is my fundamental problem with this feature. It’s schadenfreude. Unless you stay with this person forever and ever, you’re bound to have to change your status for all to see. Maybe that doesn’t bother you. People break up all the time. But usually not on broadcast unless you’re Jennifer Aniston, which for some reason, this is the second reference I’ve made to her on this blog.
Here’s the rub: I don’t want my friends from high school to think I am a single sad bag because I’m not at the moment, actually. But I especially don’t want my old friends from high school to know I’m a single sad bag once we break up and I have to announce it to all 347 of my Facebook friends. Not that I am anticipating we will break up but I have an anxiety about it when I didn’t before and it’s all Facebook’s fault. I’m going to eat something salty now.
2) Fan pages.
Today Facebook announced that even they are embarrassed by their fan page feature. They are doing away with it in favor of the “Like” option, which I guess is a smart tactic for them. I recently saw in my News Feed that someone became a “fan” of WENDY’S. The fast food chain with the adorable redhead with pigtails. Now, tell me, one can enjoy to eat a jr. bacon cheeseburger, one can like a Frosty, and one can even prefer Wendy’s over another similar restaurant – but a fan of Wendy’s? Doesn’t that strike you as strange, odd, off, bizarre? You become a fan of a sport’s team because it evolves and you evolve with its modifications. As a fan, you stand by in good times and bad. As a fan you keep up with it and grow an allegiance or loyalty. Wendy’s tastes the same everyday. Nothing changes except maybe it gets more expensive or they forget your honey mustard sauce. That does not make you a fan, that makes you a sad bag. Someone explain to me why I am talking about this.
3) Babies.
I’m glad you were able to procreate. I think your baby is mad cute. I hope to one day have my own little nuisance but for the love of god, stop filling my news feed with updates on little so-and-so’s fecal patterns and dietary restrictions. I feel sorry for your kids already, sad bag.
4) The Double Pic.
It’s Facebook, not Facesbook. I don’t really have a good excuse for why this bothers me but it certainly does. It just rivals logic. Just be yourself. You’re great. I only want to see your face. I’ll just look at your relationship status if I want to know who you are boning. Bring an end to the Doub-Pic, s-b!
5) Writing about FB.
I am a sad bag for this reason alone.
Posted on Tuesday, March 30th, 2010 at 12:42 pm. Filed under: blog Tags: facebook, probably embarrassing myself, rant, sad bag RSS 2.0 feed.
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Ermm….does this mean I fall into teh baby updates category? Because I am totes trying not to be that person lately, as I almost threw up at the posting of a high school friend describing her breastfeeding woes. in great detail.
wait…what the heck is a double pic? am i sad bag because i do not know this…?
like couples, you know? lovebirds. i hate joy.
oh yeah. i see what you mean. gotta hate those types.